Run By Fruiting.

I've been walking around in a haze for the past 24 hours. The world is different, colder, less bright.

I walked into the office yesterday to a picture of Robin Williams with the headline reading, 'Robin Williams Dead at 63.' I couldn't process. I didn't process. I didn't understand how monumentally my world had changed in a matter of moments. I sat there for an hour trying to understand why I suddenly felt numb, a numbness brought on by the death of someone I had never met. I didn't know Robin Williams personally; I wasn't a family friend or a colleague. I was a fan. Never had I experienced the death of someone who had so profoundly influenced my life. I was numb. I didn't understand.

I spent the next hour trying to understand this feeling. I trolled through the twittersphere, reading the reactions from people who knew him. Millions of 140 character posts about Robin Williams the man, colleague, and friend. I came across from a tweet from Evan Rachel Wood and I finally understood what was happening. A picture and three small words had made it heartbreakingly clear what I, on a personal level, had lost with this man's passing...

...my childhood. 

Growing up I was an only child; a 9-year old, painfully shy, girl muddling through her parents divorce. I made it through with a genie, an alien, a teacher, a boy who wouldn't grow up, a cross-dressing housekeeper, and a friend. 

So with all do respect to the older and younger generations, you're not going to get it. You're not going to get why I'm mourning a man I've never met. You're not going to get why I feel as though my world will never be the same, and it won't. There wasn't a memory from my childhood, and there are very few to begin with, that didn't involve Robin Williams. I dragged 20 of my friends to see Jumanji for my 8th birthday. An elderly Scottish women got me through my parents divorce. And a big blue genie taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be, even royalty.

So my dear friend, I wish you peace and thank you for all the laughs. I owe you one.

I'm stealing Julie's idea.

My good friend, confidant, blogger extraordinaire Julie Carter did this countdown thingymajigger as her last blog post that seemed like a sure-fire way to get me to actually blog without getting distracted by something before I was done...hold on, I have to pee.

10 - The number of pounds I've lost since I started legitimately trying to lose weight. Ironically enough it's the same amount of weight that I still have to go.

9 - The time last night when I got to the airport to pick up Jude. The time he got out of customs? 10. Freaking foreigners.

8 - The number of hours that the water will be turned off in our apartment complex today. Luckily enough, all of those hours coincide with my conceivably 11 hour work day. Don't worry, I made sure Jude had water and coffee. Jude is in fact my boyfriend, not my dog.

7 - The average time I've been getting off work as of late. We're in final mix on Horrible Bosses 2 which means the sound guys make it sound cohesive and pretty. However, said sound guys are on the clock until 7, which means I am too.

6 - The number of weeks I have left on this movie, which is both terrifying and exhilarating...but mostly just terrifying.

5 - The number of people I considered 'accidentally' ramming into on my way back from Burbank this morning. I'm sorry, but if you drive a BMW, Audi, or Mercedes and are going slower than my Nissan, you shouldn't be able to own a BMW, Audi or Mercedes.

4 - The number of sleeps until Friday. This is the first question I ask myself when I wake up every morning and when the answer is 'zero' I do a little happy dance. True story.

3 - The amount of claps of thunder I heard yesterday. It was monumental. However, a lightning bolt struck the ocean and electrocuted people which dampened the mood a bit.

2 - The amount of weeks until the 2 year anniversary of the Irish guy, who won't leave me alone, and my first date. I figure if neither of us have killed the other yet it's not likely to happen. I will get him to hang up a towel.

1 - The number of trips I have left to make to Burbank today. This wouldn't be noteworthy except for the fact that I already made one this morning. And by the time I leave it will be around 430 at which point it will be LA's version of hell. I scoff at Dallas' depiction of traffic. You know nothing. NOTHING.

Let it be known that, at 4:15 on July 28, 2014, Caroline finished a blog post.

Go Fwogs.

There are 10 tents outside my window.

Elton John has taken over the park behind my building. Yes, the Benny and the Jetts crooner himself has forced the adolescent basketball court frequenters out of their habitat and made them play elsewhere. I'm not as upset by that as the fact he's got San Vicente down to one lane. Ass.

At least I don't work on Highland, or Hollywood for that matter.

Other than that it's Thursday which is not Friday...boo.

The weathermen claim the biggest storm in years is coming...it's sunny outside.

I'll write more when I'm enthused. Now I'm just deleting the entire Lion King soundtrack from my iTunes out of spite.

It just shows to go ya.

Three months ago I was fired from Heaven is for Real by people who didn't bother to warn me nor give me the benefit of the doubt. They didn't even bother to stick around after they had someone else do the firing. The irony that I was treated this way while working on a Christian movie is not lost on me.

After that I hit a low, wondering whether or not I was meant to do this. Was any of this going to be worth it? Should I just pack it up and throw in the towel? I went through the usual ideas of possible career paths: barista, AT&T employee, trying out my hand at the Apple Corporation. The fact is though, people had my back and kept trying to find me my next gig. This and this alone pushed me forward. I was going to give it one more shot and if this next one didn't work out at least I could say I tried. It just shows to go ya that (yes it's a Sound of Music kind of scenario) 'when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.'

Two and a half weeks ago I was driving to pick up Jude and I got a phone call from some man I didn't know who'd gotten my resume from some person I'd never heard of. The movie: Horrible Bosses 2. It really could've been Adam Sandler's next flop for all I cared as my bank account was dwindling at rapid rates; but I had at least heard of the first one and it had done well enough for them to make a sequel. For the duration of that phone call I had it confused with the other Sudeikis movie 'Hall Pass' so once I had a moment to collect my thoughts I realized I'd just said yes to working on a movie with Michael Bluth.

It's been 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks I've driven 300+ miles, can get from Culver to Burbank with my eyes closed, made casual 'non-stalking' glances at Charlie Day and Sudeikis, and almost ran smack dab into Jason Bateman. This is the movie I was meant to work on. Period. You know how I know this? 5 days after I got that call Christoph Waltz signed on to play the boss. Please see blog posting entitled 'A Challenge I Can Get Behind' from July of 2011 to prove that faith hath intervened on my behalf.

Between Kevin Spacey, Bateman, and Waltz I think I'm going to have to perfect my 'What's in the box?!?!?' impersonation and just carry my Bluth Banana Stand shirt and 'Inglourious Basterds' poster with me at all times whilst on set.

Needless to say I would pay to be on this movie, so the fact that I'm getting paid is slightly surreal. The guys I work with are also excellent and actually have sense of humors. I hate the word 'blessed' because it's so overused and has therefore lost its legitimacy BUT there you have it. I'm here till next August everybody. Ten months of staring at Chris Pine and Hans Landa and getting paid for it everybody. Almost makes the fact that the Horned Frogs are 4-6 not even on my radar...almost.

Around the time I got that wonderful, wonderful call I also managed to snag myself a new, perfectly suitable roommate and got our carpets cleaned. Go team.

I meet Jude's entire family next week, that consists of his parents, sister, and two brothers. Only slightly overwhelmed on that front. And then he gets to be overwhelmed right back when we go to Dallas for Thanksgiving. He beat me to it, the bastard. Plans thus far include turkey, BBQ, pool, pizza, and football. The only thing he said he wanted to do was show him what I did in Dallas, I don't think he quite got that my entire high school experience was based around my dad's pool table. He will learn.

Did I mention I didn't have to fight to get the full Thanksgiving weekend off AND get 2 weeks off for Christmas? Did I? I don't think I did. Within two weeks my life completely turned around and I'm just plain happy. Los Angeles, I may have use for you yet.

My next post may very well be written from a location just over 500 feet from Christoph Waltz due to the temporary restraining order. I should look into getting those portable WIFI hub things.

I am Heisenberg.

I suck at blogging. I've accepted it and you should too. Regardless, here's my feeble attempt to keep this thing going. I make no promises as to whether or not it's actually cohesive, comprehendible, or intelligent.

Somehow, and I have no idea how this is humanly possible, it is August. To me August means 2 things, 1) the Facebook friends who are teachers and have had the last three months off will stop posting about how they've been doing absolutely nothing and actually get back to work and 2) as bad as life gets in LA, at least I'm not in Texas where it was 104 degrees yesterday.

The last 8 months have been a whirlwind.

I finished 'White House Down.' It came out and flopped. I don't really care considering that I still got paid; I blame Gerard Butler though. Never has my name looked as cool as it did when it was up on that screen. No matter what happens with this whole editing thing, I'll always have that and I'm ok with it.

I started and completed P90X all while giving up Diet Coke. No more can shrines for this girl. I'm still trying to keep it to one a week, those who know me will know how big of a deal this actually is. The word 'monumental' comes to mind.

I managed to go home for 2 weeks. I got fed, surprised, loved, and drunk. All in all I'd consider it a success.

I'm now working on the movie adaptation of 'Heaven is for Real.' It's a book about this kid who evidently died for a few minutes and went to heaven where he met his grandfather who doesn't wear glasses. I haven't read the book nor the script yet but since my room is right next to the editor's (he edited Speed and Braveheart) I now can sing each and every verse to 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.' The movie's much smaller than the last one and, despite the pay cut that came with it, I have yet to stay past 7. Never has an 11 hour work day seemed so awesome.

The roommate and I are considering writing a screenplay. I'm keeping the subject matter a secret though because I really can't believe no one's made a movie about it already. To be continued...

Jude and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary on Sunday, there will evidently be food and wine involved. It also managed to fall on the midseason premiere of Breaking Bad, a show that up until 2 weeks ago I'd never been able to get in to. Jude loves it. My mom loves it. I was evidently missing something. I refused to deprive Jude of his Walter White though, so over the past 2 weeks I watched the first 4.5 seasons and am officially caught up.

As if on cue I almost ran into (like literally ran into) Bryan Cranston at lunch today. To the celebrities who hide behind the sunglasses, when you have smiles like that I'm going to recognize you with or without your hair.

To my Tejanos, I'll be home at Thanksgiving Irish boy in hand. Plans thus far include eating, going out to show him Dallas and his first ever football game. The boy lived in Austin for 2 years and has still never been to a football game. My mission is clear. 'Go Frogs beat the Baptists.'

Killing Time

Well, everyone's not getting in until 10 so I thought I'd use my last 10 minutes of freedom as inspiration to blog.

I always feel like whenever I do this I have to ask myself what's happened since the last time I felt compelled to write? The answer is, without fail, too damn much. I think it may be easier to sub-section this sucker off into months or weeks or categories of some sort. Maybe all three. I'll debate for a second.

November - I went home for Thanksgiving and got to go to the TCU/UT football game in Austin. I'm glad my father and brother are such fanatics and felt compelled to get tickets. I got to spend some time at home which was perfect. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss those people.

Work - I started a new movie called 'White House Down.' It's with Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx and involves lots of gun shots, at least that's what I can gather from the noises coming down the hall. The high point thus far has to be that I get my own office. And a door. The man who invented the door needs to be given a medal. I didn't get a Christmas Break, I got a Christmas four day weekend and a New Years four day weekend. Meaning I probably won't be home until this sucker gets released. June 28th peeps! Mark your calendars! Also, there is a strikingly similar movie with Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman (fuck). Do not go see this, this is not my movie.

Christmas - My roommate and I did a roomie photo shoot for our Christmas card, if you got one in your mailbox this past holiday season consider yourself quite fortunate. My mom also came into town for the Christmas four-day weekend and it was lovely. We did nothing Christmas affiliated and just went to see movies. I have checked Zero-Dark-Thirty, Les Mis, and Django off of my 'oscar contender, therefore must see' list. It keeps growing by the day though and seeing as I work at least 60 hours a week, I'm not sure when I'll catch up.

Boy - is good.

This week - is hell. By Friday I'll have worked 10 days straight. And God willing I don't have to work Saturday I'll collapse and not wake up till Monday morning. At least my bank account will be happy.

Well it's 10 and I must depart.

Auf wiedersehen, gesundheit, farewell.

Xanga Flashback.

I stole this from Julie. From her Xanga. Yes those still exist and I'm a moron for deleting mine. I thought it'd be more applicable now anyway.

10 YEARS AGO: 1. I was a freshman in high school. 2. The most terrifying thing in my life was Scott Mason. 3. College was still a long way off. 4. I couldn't see 'R' rated movies. 5. My favorite color was still purple. 5 YEARS AGO: 1. I was a freshman in college. 2. The most terrifying thing in my life was the fact that I was 45 minutes away from home. 3. I was still friends with all of my friends from high school. 4. The real world was still a long way off. 5. My entire world was purple. 1 YEAR AGO: 1. I moved 1400 miles away from home. 2. I worked on a major motion picture. 3. I navigated my way around Los Angeles. 4. I worked too much and had no life. 5. I learned how manage friendships from 5 states away. YESTERDAY: 1. I went to work on the same major motion picture. 2. I ate a calzone. 3. I watched two movies. 4. I called my mommy. 5. I hung out with my boyfriend. SNACKS I ENJOY: 1. Cookies 2. Chips 3. Wheat Thins 4. Apples 5. Grapes SONGS I KNOW ALL OF THE WORDS TO: 1. Defying Gravity 2. Life is a Highway 3. Gravity 4. All the Way 5. When I Fall in Love 5 PLACES I WOULD RUN AWAY TO: 1. Dublin 2. London 3. New York 4. Italy 5. Sydney FAVORITE TV SHOWS: 1. Big Bang 2. American Horror Story 3. Modern Family 4. Homeland 5. Say Yes to the Dress FAVORITE BOOKS: 1. James and the Giant Peach 2. Harry Potter 3. Bossy Pants4. Hunger Games 5. The Help BAD HABITS: 1. Tapping my foot. 2. Saying 'sorry' too much. 3. Jumping to conclusions. 4. Smacking. 5. Being blunt. 5 BIGGEST JOYS: 1. Friends 2. Family 3. Hugs 4. Music 5. Movies 5 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WOULD DATE: 1. Jacob (Ryan Gosling from Crazy, Stupid, Love) 2. Kit Walker (American Horror Story) 3. Nick (New Girl) 4. Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling from the Notebook) 5. Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey)

I'll write more later.